Reflection

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, (Philippians 1:3 ESV)

Sitting in prison like he was, Paul had plenty of time to reflect. How had he come to be here? Had he taken the right path? Had he been wise? Should he have done things differently? Was God faithful? Had God forgotten him? What was God doing? Hadn't Paul been faithful? Didn't Paul have great plans for further ministry? Then why was he still in prison? Why had God allowed this? What had this path cost Paul? Was it worth it? What if his life were about to end? Was there any real significance to his life? If his life were to end now, was he a failure?

We can't know for sure what demons Paul may have wrestled with in his Roman prison, but if he were anything like us he may have had some or even all of these thoughts pass through his head. Things weren't exactly looking up for him. He had been incarcerated for a very long time, held without any significant charge against him, waiting to appear before a wicked, maniacal, tyrant Emperor Nero to whom he had appealed. Don't tell me the wisdom of that decision hadn't been questioned by him at least once.

But Paul trusted God. His faith in God is evident in this phrase he writes to the Philippian church, quoted above, quoted here again:

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, (Philippians 1:3 ESV)

Paul thought of them.

He had plenty of time to think these days and his thoughts naturally turned to the people he had ministered to, the people who had heard the gospel preached by him, who had believed that gospel, the people who were now saints of God and members of churches he had started. He thought of them. They were living testimony of the value of his life. He could point to them and say, 'Look, God has blessed me. Look, God has used me. Look, God has been gracious to me and given worth to my days.'

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, (Philippians 1:3 ESV)

Whom do you have to look to? To whom can you point and say, 'By God's grace I have been used to influence him for God and for good.'? Is there a son or a daughter who is faithful to God through your influence? Is there a neighbor, a friend, who knows Christ through you? Are there children, perhaps adults now, who know God better, or were introduced to Christ because you taught Sunday School? What about people who have seen your life of faithfulness to God and have been influenced to follow in those steps? Are there any? Your life has had purpose. It has had meaning.

And if not there is still time. While you have breath you have purpose. While you have life you have time to love, to forgive, to point someone to Jesus Christ. There is time to pray. God hears the prayers of the penitent.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; 

a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

(Psalm 51:17 ESV)

  

There is time to say to God, 'Make my life useful. Give my life meaning. Use me for your glory.' So, whatever days you have left, give them to God.

 

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. (Psalms 90:12 KJV)